Having a happy, healthy marriage takes work. It doesn’t happen on its own. In the initial stages of a relationship there is usually a strong infatuation. During this period, most people are often on their best behavior and many of their not-so-nice personality flaws are not showing. But after a longer period of months or years this begins to dwindle.
There are many factors that go into a strong and healthy relationship. Good communication skills is probably at the top of this list. Having open and honest communication, good listening capabilities and an ability to empathize and understand another’s point of view are all vital. There are a lot of important fundamentals to learn and use on this subject that will make a world of difference in how smooth or tumultuous your relationship is.
Trust is another vital component of a healthy marriage. Every time you violate trust you weaken the relationship that much more. Lies, dishonesty, broken promises, saying you will do something and then not doing it or promising not to do something and then doing it — all of these weaken your bond and have a cumulative effect.
Trust isn’t just about not keeping your word, there is also trust in not hurting one another. Anytime a partner does something that is hurtful to the other partner, it causes him or her to withdraw or pull back to some degree on their trust and love for the other. This too is accumulative, creating more and more distance over time.
Everyone in the world has good and bad qualities. So realize that your partner is going to have issues. There just aren’t people without issues, at least not on this planet. Some of these issues may be fixable but most will not be. If you are continuously getting upset and frustrated about the issues that don’t change, you are going to have a rough go of it. It will be much better if you work in your relationship to compensate for each other’s weaknesses. Focus on each other’s strengths and how to use your combined strengths to create a united force that is more powerful together then individually.
It also helps to remind yourself often about the best qualities of your partner. The more you focus on the positive, the more of it you get. Likewise, the more you emphasize the negative the worse it gets. So I highly recommend splurging on the positive. It’s not hard to make a big deal when something is handled well or taken care of without reminders.
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